Strip Searched on Mexico Border
Hola from Mexico
We’re over here for a few weeks… Lynika and I… on the back end of a trip to Nashville to see the legendary marketers Dan Kennedy and John Carlton in action. Waaaay cool.
But more on that later…
Anyway… On the way to our hotel in Tijuana, Mexico… we were picked up at San Diego airport by a Spanish-speaking driver.
You know… It’s funny trying NOT to stand out like Gringos (tourists), but since my only source of Spanish was from watching “Speedy Gonzales” cartoons as a kid, we kinda stood out like a fluorescent Christmas tree in a cactus farm.
There was a 20-minute drive to the Mexican border, then another 15-minutes to our hotel.
Packed with a mind-load full of shady movie scenes about crossing the Mexico border… I was excitedly curious as to how it would play out.
Couldn’t get any advice from our Mexican driver.
“Notta mucha speaka engalisha”, he said.
“Just little bit”, he muttered, as he lifted his hand to show us a tiny gap between his pointer finger and thumb.
And seeing my Mexican vocabulary ran dry after “Taco, Nachos and Amigo”, we quickly reverted to the world’s universal language mode.
Smile and nod.
So get this…
We drive up to the Mexican border. To paint the picture… imagine these big-ass-wide-berth tollbooths that you drive into.
We get waved to the side and the driver pulls the car up. A couple of Mexican officials, all dressed in black, walk up to our car and tap on the windows.
There’s a steady flow of conversation going on between the driver and these officials.
Are we in trouble?
What’s the hassle?
Have drugs been planted on us for a set up?
What’s going on?
You know… All the usual stuff racing through your brain when approaching Tijuana (notorious as Mexico’s most corrupt city)
They triple check our passports then motion for us to get out of the car.
They take our luggage out and walk us into a building. Our bags go through a big scanner. Kinda like what you see at an airport, but twice as big.
They take Lynika to the side. In broken English, they say,
“I’m going to ask you to press this button. If the button turns green, you can go. If the button turns red, you will both have to be fully searched. Bags and all”.
Seriously? All because of the luck of pressing a button? I’m thinking, “What the hell determines it blinking green or red anyway?
As it turns out… it’s pot luck. 50/50 chance. Totally random.
Green = Go
Red = Full search
So Lynika steps forward to press “the button”.
We nervously look across at each other. As you can imagine, we’re not really hip to the idea of a strip search. No thanks.
Lynika presses the button.
Red or green? Waiting… waiting…
Okay, let’s pause here for a second.
I know what you’re thinking…
I bet you’re secretly hoping for the RED light, aren’t you?
You cruel bastard.
Well guess what?
Luckily, us Aussie gringos got the green light that day, amigo! (Thank god)
But a 50/50 chance of a strip search… well… that’s not the kind of odds I like play’n with. Know what I mean?
Same goes with your marketing. You wanna tilt the scales more in your favour.
So, instead of throwing your website, sales page, video, or promotion up… and leaving it up to chance… “Hoping” for a good response…
There are some things you can do to stack the odds in your favour.
There are plenty of ways to do this. Here’s just one.
A smarter move (for you) is this.
You see hombre, I can change the numbers for you.
In just one sitting… I’ll run my masterful eyes over your marketing piece… and critique it word-by-word, line-by-line.
I’ll hack into it and cut out the lame, drivel and uninspiring fluff… and inject some pulse racing, compelling elements to cause a manic rush of sales.
That’s what I do.
Here’s how it’ll play…
After I grill you about your biz (on Skype)… I’ll start on your copy.
I’ll shoot a screen-capture video of me going through your copy (in real-time) with microscopic detail, like an OCD sales detective.
Next… You and I will hook up on a live follow-up call… just to make sure you’re crystal clear on what changes need to be made… and you’re hip with any strategy suggestions I have for you.
But be warned… you’ve gotta be thick skinned. I kid you not. It’s not for the faint hearted, that’s for sure.
Look, my role isn’t to blow roses your way (unless it’s truly deserved)… and I won’t waste your time sugar coating the facts.
I’ll critique it as if it was my very own piece going to market.
I’ll give your sales copy a much-needed adjustment so you can boogie to the sound of more sales.
Perfect (and an affordable) substitute if you sweat bricks when thinking about paying for an A-class copywriter to write your copy.
Thomson-style critiques are hard-core… but lighter on the pocket for you… my mission is to obliterate any sales obstructions I see… so you can bask in more sales while you sleep.
This is how to make sure the light goes GREEN… So you can cross the border to prosperity.
Either that… or you can leave your marketing up to chance and hope the “sales fairy” sprinkles magic dust your way…
Anyway. I’m here to help. You just gotta ask.
Let me send you more details about this. Shoot us an email at info@BretThomson.com and I’ll reply back with the options.
Think big. Be different.
P.S. Best I mention, I don’t take on everyone either. Don’t take offense if I politely knock you back. I just wanna be sure your idea will fly first…
Don’t forget to comment or share below so we know you want more