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How To Deal With Blood-Sucking Leeches Disguised As Wanna-Be Clients

June 17th, 2011 |

Trevor

A Tribute Post For
People Fed Up With
Freebie Seekers

G’day

Tell me… be honest… was I too harsh with this guy?

Email correspondence pasted below.

 

Think big. Be different

Bret Thomson

 

——————————————

 

From: Trevor Mulldane
Sent: 26th May 2011 10:48am
To: Bret Thomson
Subject: Urgent copywriting project

 

Hi Bret

 

I saw you speak at a conference last year and I thought I’d give you a chance to write sales copy for my company.

We are launching an exciting piece of software for social media in two weeks time. We have two other copywriters submitting copy for this project. We will spilt-test your sales copy against the others to see which converts best. If your copy is successful, we will then let you write for our future projects. We are happy to pay you for future projects, however this project is just a test to see if you qualify.

Please submit some recent copy samples for me to review ASAP. Also, include your prices for writing a sales letter. Send your samples and prices to my assistant Sharon (Cc’d in this email) by C.O.B tomorrow, then she will send you the project brief.

We will need your first draft by next Friday June 3rd.

Trevor

 

—————————————–

From: Bret Thomson
Sent: 26th May 2011 11:21am
To: Trevor Mulldane
Subject: Re: Urgent copywriting project

Hi Trevor

Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m busy enough right now without writing copy for free.

Re prices: I don’t give out prices without my potential client filling out a essay writers detailed questionnaire and phone interview. This is the first step of my essential researching criteria.

I’m happy to send this to you anyway, as it will surely benefit you.

Good luck with your project.

Kind regards

Bret

 

—————————————

From: Trevor Mulldane
Sent: 26th May 2011 11:36am
To: Bret Thomson
Subject: Re: Re: Urgent copywriting project

Bret

I don’t have time for quizzes or games.

And frankly, your short sightedness surprises me. You could make a lot of money later on, once this product goes big.

I only contacted you because I saw you speak from stage and you essay writer sounded like you knew what you were talking about. Maybe I was wrong?

Send me your current copy examples anyway, and if I think your work is up to scratch, I may give you another chance.

Trevor

————————————–

From: Bret Thomson
Sent: 26th May 2011 11:57am
To: Trevor Mulldane
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Urgent copywriting project

Hi Trevor

I have to apologise. I didn’t realize we had met. I have to be honest… I’m a little confused. Are you sure it was me you saw speaking on stage?

Because I can’t remember wearing a t-shirt that read, “Feel-free-to-screw-me-over-and-I’ll-kiss-your-ass-for-free”.

Amazing coincidence though… because just this morning I sprung out of bed hoping someone would give me an “opportunity” to exchange my years of experience of writing million-dollar sales copy – for nothing!

Ohhh, sorry, my bad… you did say I may get paid later for a future job. Wow, thank you Mr. Scrooge (so generous).

Next week I had organized a special camping trip with my three sons for some long-overdue father-and-son time… Let me just text my boys and cancel the trip so I can work on your project for free. Oh joy…

Bret
www.BretThomson.com

P.S. If you ever need your house painted (for free)… or help moving heavy furniture, please make sure you ask me first. What an honor that would be.

—————————————

From: Trevor Mulldane
Sent: 26th May 2011 12:05pm
To: Bret Thomson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Urgent copywriting project

I will over look your smart-ass attempt of being funny and give you one last chance to be a part of this.

You obviously have no idea how much money this software launch will make.

Send me recent copy examples and prices ASAP or we will move forward without you.

Trevor

 

—————————————

From: Bret Thomson
Sent: 26th May 2011 12:28pm
To: Trevor Mulldane
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Urgent copywriting project

Hi Trevor

I’m sorry. Thanks for giving me a second chance for you to suck the bone marrow from my copywriting soul.

As requested, here are my most recent copy examples:

 

 

“They All Laughed When I Sat Down To Write Copy For Trevor
Because He’s Too Tight To Pay…”

 

“Give Me Just 3 Hours Working With Trevor
And He’ll Happily Milk Me As Dry As A Camels
Arse In A Sandstorm – Guilt Free – Guaranteed”

 

“Who Else Wants To Sell Their Soul To A
Knob-Jockey That Blatantly Exploits Talented
People To Selfishly Line His Own Pockets?”

 

—————————————–

From: Trevor Mulldane
Sent: 26th May 2011 12:34pm
To: Bret Thomson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Urgent copywriting project

Bret

You obviously don’t have the brains or maturity to comprehend the scope of what we are doing.

I only work with professionals, not idiots like yourself.

Trevor

 

——————————————-

From: Bret Thomson
Sent: 26th May 2011 12:39pm
To: Trevor Mulldane
Subject: jection

Hi Trevor

I am so mature.

You’re not – times a hundred!

No, wait… a MILLION!

 

—————————————

From: Trevor Mulldane
Sent: 26th May 2011 12:42pm
To: Bret Thomson
Subject: Re: jection

I’m not even going to give you the pleasure in responding.

 

—————————————

From: Bret Thomson
Sent: 26th May 2011 12:44pm
To: Trevor Mulldane
Subject: Re: Re: jection

But you just did.

 

————————————-

From: Trevor Mulldane
Sent: 26th May 2011 12:46pm
To: Bret Thomson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: jection

Fuck off.

 

————————————–

So again… was I too harsh?

Go ahead and leave a comment below – don’t be shy 😉

Think big. Be different…

Bret Thomson

 

 

Bret’s Copywriting Questionnaire Extraordinaire!

June 15th, 2011 |

OK here it is. As promised…

The Copywriting Questionnaire Extraordinaire!

I originally got this questionnaire from Pete Godfrey – who in turn probably got it from Dan Kennedy – who in turn probably got it from GOD!!

Okay, let’s get cracking…

I’m going to cut straight to the chase.

To write a kick ass sales letter you have to know your ideal client “intimately” – meaning you almost have to know what kind of ‘pillow talk’ is happening!

Don’t take that the wrong way, but if you can really understand what makes your prospect tick… as closely as you do your own partner… then your copy will make an instant emotional connection!

This may sound weird – but I try and “become my client” – walk in their shoes – think like they think – feel like they feel.

And that’s where this questionnaire comes in. It’s your ticket to what’s going on in their mind.

Right, so what you need to do now is read through the questionnaire below and then use it for your own research.

For bonus points see if you can pick up on the psychology that underlines this questionnaire!

I’ve made comments for you in red – my prospects obviously wouldn’t be seeing the red comments. They are just for you, okay?

I won’t keep you hanging any longer. Here it is…

Note: If you want to print off your own version then click here

If you want to see a real ‘filled out’ and completed version then click here

Bret’s Copywriting Questionnaire:

  1. Who is your main prospect? (Men? Women? Ages? Career? And so on…)

Bret’s note in red: I always try and picture a real person that I actually know as the ideal prospect. This makes it easier for me to understand how they think and how they’ll react to certain things. It’s a very, very powerful advanced technique (and easy to do!).

  1. For me to get to know your prospects inside out so I can motivate them to take action now, I really need to be able to see them. Below are eleven profiling questions… just do your best on these remembering the more info I’ve got the better (and please don’t just guess).

 

1)    What keeps them awake at night?

2)    What are they afraid of?

3)    What are they angry about? Who are they angry at?

4)    What are their top 3 daily frustrations?

5)    What trends are occurring and will occur in their businesses or lives?

6)    What do they secretly, ardently desire most?

7)    Is there a built in bias to the way they make decisions? (Example: engineers = analytical)

8)    Do they have their own language? If so give examples of words and phrases they use.

9)    Who else is selling them something similar and how?

10) What magazines do they read?

11) What websites do they visit?

The list above is the backbone for connecting with your prospect on an emotional level. Especially the first 4 questions.

  1. Who are the secondary prospects? Are there enough prospects in the secondary niche to create special target copy versions that appeal directly to them? (Please apply the eleven profiling questions above to these secondary prospects.)
  2. What is your goal for this project?
  3. What other goals would you like to achieve with this project?
  4. Is there anything about your product or company that will lend credibility to your sales pitch? This might include awards you’ve won, how long you have been in business, testimonials, how many locations you have, etc. (Please supply testimonials.)

This is important to weave into your copy as it increases believability and trust.

  1. What product or service will you be selling? If possible please send me your product for evaluation.
  2. What are all the features of your product/ service? Don’t leave anything out… put down everything that you can. This may take some time though it will be well worth it.
  3. What relevant facts or figures have been gathered about your product? Have any studies been made that provide facts and figures that will substantiate your claims? Is there any industry trade council that can give you meaningful facts, graphs, charts and statistics about your products? How does it compare to your competitors product?
  4. What are the major benefits that your customer gets from your product or service? The difference between a fact/feature and a benefit is this: A fact/feature is something your product/service DOES…whereas the benefit is something it DOES FOR your customer.

If you want to take it one step further, then turn the benefits into feelings. That’s worth repeating: turn the benefits into the feelings they will experience! Got it? Good!

  1. What makes your product/service unique? Why should your prospect choose your business over any other? (N.B This question is very important… from it, we will be able to position your business in the market place… we can then develop our U.S.P.- Unique Selling Proposition)
  2. What type of guarantee do you offer?

The scarier the guarantee the better! For example: 200% double your money back guarantee!

  1. What level of service and support do you offer?
  2. Please send me copies of any previous and current marketing pieces including: sales letters, advertisements, brochures and testimonials from satisfied customers; along with any articles on your business, such as marketing plans, etc.

Find out what has worked and what hasn’t in the past.

  1. I want you to sell me on your product/service. Pretend I am sitting across from you… now sell me!

It always pays to interview them for this question and record the dialog!

  1. Have you got a list of feedback questions about your product? This way I can build a FAQ sheet in with your sales document. I’ve proved it many times that by including a FAQ sheet you get more sales.
  2. What’s the price of your product?
  3. How will you take orders? Please give details and phone numbers if required.
  4. What magazines or publications are you going to advertise in? Please send me samples of such magazines.

Then you can see how to make your advertising stand out from the crowd!

  1. What’s my brief? What do you want me to create? A lead generation ad? Complete sales letter? Please be clear on this point.
  2. What’s your offer? What are you going to offer as an incentive to your prospects?
  3. If web copy is required, what are your keywords?
  4. What is your current sales process? Please explain how you get prospects and also how you close the sale. (For example: newspaper ads that send prospects to your store; lead generating followed up with sales pack that sells the product.)
  5. This is a big one: in your opinion why would your prospects NOT buy what you’re offering? List as many of these reasons as you can. Is it the price? That they don’t trust you? List them all, what reasons are there NOT to buy?

This is critically important to weed out every single objection

  1. If you are in a mature market such as weight loss, what changes (if any) have occurred in this industry in the last few years?
  2. What is your marketing budget?

 

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Think big. Be different…

The TOP 4 Ways to Learn More Than An Eavesdropper At A Gossip Convention!

June 13th, 2011 |

OK. Hot on the tail of my last post about research and Why Pro-Copywriters Get Paid The BIG BUCKS! I’ve compiled here for you…

The TOP 4 Ways to Learn More
About Your Audience Than An
Eavesdropper At A Gossip Convention!

Let’s get right to it shall we?

  1. 1. Interview

This is a good one. I like to jump on the phone or on Skype and record an interview with my client. Then after the interview I ask my client if they have an ideal customer that I could interview. In both cases I get the recordings transcribed into print (I’ve got a great transcriber if you’re after one) and this gives me awesome usable chunks of copy to slot straight into my sales letter.

You may even want to ring up someone who is in your target audience and take them out for lunch! Who knows… just one sentence could give you the emotional twist that will make all the difference!

  1. 2. Forums

Here’s where you get do to some good sleuthing! Jump on the net and check out some of the online forums for your subject/industry. See what common questions are being asked, what concerns are popping up, what arguments are going on. Forums are a powerful resource for getting insights into how you’re audience are feeling.

  1. 3. Youtube

Another great resource for researching. Type in keywords related to your subject and there’s bound to be a stack of people standing on their soap box having their say and wanting their 15 seconds of fame! Try it – I’ve used it with great results!

  1. 4. Survey

Create a survey that goes out to your target audience. Creating an online survey is simple and basic these days through www.surveymonkey.com. You can ask questions about price points, expectations, dislikes, frustrations, the works! Keep it as short as possible and try and throw in a free bonus gift as a reward for filling the survey out.

Okay, that’s all for today. Make sure you put this to the test – you won’t be disappointed.

And next post, as promised…My Copywriting Questionnaire Extraordinaire!

Bye for now….

Think big. Be different…

Bret

 

Why Pro-Copywriters Get Paid The BIG BUCKS!

June 10th, 2011 |

Do you want to know the real difference between a “pro” copywriter and an average “wanna be” copywriter?

OR why some sales letters or ads cause an absolute traffic jam of sales compared to the “ho-hum” sales material that doesn’t even get read?

Sure, there may be a different skill level in the writing but I’m not talking about that.  No, I’m talking about The Reason why certain copywriters get paid the BIG BUCKS!!!

Wanna guess?

OK, let me tell you…

“Researching.”

Yuck. It’s an ugly word right? But it’s in the researching stage that you come up with the big idea! The hook! Or the twist!

It’s where you come up with the “X” factor that’ll make phones ring and credit cards swipe faster than a western gunslinger!

Trust me. Breeze over this part and you’ll definitely leave a mountain of cash behind.

So put on your sleuthing hat and dust off the old magnifying glass because…

You’re about to become a sales detective!

Something you may not know is… in a lot of cases pro copywriters will spend 75% of their time researching and only 25% writing!

It’s that important!

WARNING: Beware of the dangerous trap that unsuspecting business owners and entrepreneurs fall into!

And that is…

They “ASSUME” they know what their client wants!

WRONG!

You’ve heard it before… ASSUME (or ASS-U-ME) means making an ASS out of U and ME.

Do you want to become a marketing expert overnight? Then ask your clients what they want. Duh! Pretty simple right?

Here’s a BIG distinction you need to imprint in your brain:

“You are not your client”

To help you Uncover More Copy Gold Than A Prospector During The 1800’s Gold Rush I’ve put together a list of what to look for in your detective researching time:

  1. Who is your ideal client? Can you picture a real person?
  2. What are their needs, wants, fears, frustrations and objections?
  3. What is their age, sex, hobbies, interests, income etc?
  4. What is their typical day is like?
  5. What conversations they are having in their own mind?
  6. What is the story of the product or service you are selling?
  7. Is there a story of a successful customer or client?
  8. What is your personal story?
  9. What are the feature and benefits you are offering?
  10. What are the motivating factors?
  11. What are the emotional triggers?
  12. What are your competitors offering?
  13. What has worked and what hasn’t worked in the past?

Believe me – that list could go on forever!

And lucky for you…as a valued reader…I’m going to share the exact copywriting questionnaire that I use to suck all of this important information out of the clients I write copy for.

But first, stay tuned for my next post where I’ll show you…

The TOP 4 Ways to Learn More Than An Eavesdropper At A Gossip Convention!

Think big. Be different…

Bret Thomson

 

The Two Words That Turned And Saved A Dying Business

April 8th, 2011 |

I don’t know about you… but I’m not one for watching a lot of TV. At all really…

But occasionally the old box will be on in the morning as I’m “rounding up” my cattle… sorry… I mean “kids” for school.

Anyway, my ears pricked up when I heard this story on “Sunrise” – it definitely makes for a read-worthy blog post.

Let me pre-frame this.

Hang around me longer than 5-minutes and you’ll probably hear me say these words. “To be a great copywriter, you must first become a great marketer.” I first heard that from Mal Emery, and I totally agree.

When I heard about this story I just had to share it with you. The simplicity of it is beautiful and it has a powerful lesson. I won’t keep you hanging any longer…

In a small town in North Queensland (where they bend bananas), there was a serious epidemic unfolding… A real tragedy in the making. Here’s where it started…

At the local supermarket and fruit stores, locals had the choice of two types of bananas to buy. The big, long banana in one bay… and the small puny bananas in the other bay.

(If you’ve ever been the small or less athletic kid at school who always gets picked last, then this story will give you hope)

In short, (no punt intended), the smaller bananas were not selling. To the point where they were going to totally wipe them out all together. Shut down the harvest pants, lay off the workers – the whole deal – Never to be seen or sold again.

Until… One smart cookie splashed a creative marketing spin on the problem.

It only took two words. Get this…

They placed a sign in front of the small banana bay that read this:

“Lunchbox Bananas”

And guess what happened?… whooooosh…

They became so popular that they practically ran out the door. Shopping mothers INSTANTLY made the distinction and changed their buying habit to fill a need. And that need was fitting a banana into a school lunch box.

Beautiful.

Lessons for you:

1. You could be just one great idea away from a marketing (and financial) breakthrough. It could be the media you choose, the new market you tap into, the message, hook, twist or USP (unique selling proposition), your strategy, and the list goes on

2. Can you “name a process” in your business that you and your industry peers take for granted? Name it. Own it. Think outside the box

3. Never assume that your clients will “join-the-dots” – spell it out for them as if you had to explain it to a 7 year old. NEVER ASSUME THE OBVIOUS

4. Always communicate your biggest benefits (or point of difference) in the best most obvious possible way.

5. Can you use a recognizable word or phrase and marry it into your message? I saw this the other day when someone was refereed to as “The Richard Branson of the Internet”. Here are a few more examples:

– The “Entrepreneurial Bible”
– The “Ghost Whisperer”
– The “Cash Flow Queen”

You get the idea…

So can you find your “Lunchbox Banana” story?

Keep your eyes “peeled”
It could be just around the “bend”

Think big. Be different.

Bret Thomson
P.S. If you have any cool little stories like this, don’t keep it to yourself – post it in the comment box below. Who knows… I might contact you and flush it out into a post under your name.