Fully Funded MBA Programs for International Students

lonavalapoint / February 18, 2026

Pursuing an MBA abroad is a dream for many students—but high tuition fees and living costs often become a barrier. […]

Online MBA Scholarships

lonavalapoint / February 18, 2026

In today’s fast-paced and competitive job market, pursuing higher education, especially a Master of Business Administration (MBA), can significantly enhance

Uncategorized

Online MBA Programs With Scholarships

lonavalapoint / December 31, 2025

Online MBA programs have become one of the most popular career-advancement options in India and globally. With UGC approval, flexible

MBA Recharge

Scholarships for Online MBA Programs

lonavalapoint / December 31, 2025

In the fast-paced world of business, pursuing an MBA has become a significant milestone for professionals aspiring to climb the

Scholarships

Fully Funded Online MBA Scholarships

lonavalapoint / December 31, 2025

Embarking on a journey toward an online MBA is a significant step in advancing one’s career. In recent years, the

Scholarships

MBA Scholarship Programs in USA

lonavalapoint / December 31, 2025

If you are an Indian student seeking to pursue an MBA degree in the United States of America, then you

Scholarships

PhD Scholarships in USA

lonavalapoint / December 31, 2025

Embarking on a journey towards a PhD is a significant step in one’s academic and professional life. The USA, renowned

Scholarships

MBA Scholarship Programs in Canada

lonavalapoint / December 31, 2025

The pursuit of higher education, particularly a Master of Business Administration (MBA), is a transformative journey that often comes with

Scholarships

Online MBA Programs with Full Scholarships

lonavalapoint / December 31, 2025

Introduction In the fast-evolving landscape of higher education, online MBA programs have emerged as a flexible and accessible option for

loan

Business Liability Insurance

lonavalapoint / August 25, 2024

Introduction Starting a business is like embarking on an exciting adventure—you’re charting unknown territories, dreaming big, and striving to turn

October 15th, 2013 | Bret Thomson

Thtupid Copy Blunder (with an easy fix)

A Copywriting Clanger That’ll Misfire Your Marketing Off Target

I critique a lot of sales copy.

Even from fellow professional copywriters.

I can’t say I like it a whole lot… it’s just part of what I do, running my “Project Success” team.

… And the occasional client who pays me to review their marketing materials…

Here’s a common blunder most people make.

I want you to look at your offer. Particularly, look at the list of what goods/services you are promising in your offer.

Now… look how you’ve worded it.

If you’ve got a bullet point list that reads like…

(Example)

Here’s a preview of what you get…

– We will do… XYZ

– We will give our entire…. blah, blah

– Our system will automatically… yadda

– We make sure that… dribble

– I will send you daily reports on… blaaaah

(End of example)

Look familiar? Okay, lean in closer for this…

If you want better engagement and response… if you want to evoke emotion, believability and excitement, here’s a smarter way to write it…

(Example 2)

Here’s what you can look forward to…

– You can look forward to us doing… XYZ

– You will have everything you need when… blah

– You won’t have to lift a finger because… Yadda

– You’ll be amazed when you get our … dribble

– You can relax knowing that our system will automatically…

(End of example)

See the difference?

Replace “We, we, we, or I, I, I, with… “You, You, You”… Get it?

The word YOU is one of the most used words in the world’s most famous converting headlines.

It instantly conjures a feeling of ownership for your reader… Even if it’s just a splinter of a feeling… A small projection that puts your reader into feeling and experiencing it for real.

You see… us humanoids are built to be self-absorbed. So play to it – Any chance you get.

Doing it the WRONG way is a missed opportunity to put your prospect in the picture.

And a missed opportunity to inject emotion into your copy…

Remember, people BUY with emotion.

Any chance you get to add emotion… TAKE IT!

You don’t have to be wordsmith… in fact, if people say to me, “Wow Bret, I love your writing and the words you used; it’s so well written.”

I’ll tear it up and start again.

You don’t want people to remember your words.

You want them to “FEEL” compelled to keep going… So they hardly even realise they are reading…

And to seamlessly motivate them to take action, not applause.

Thought I’d share that little bobby-dazzler with you…

For selfish reason actually… You see it’ll probably save me hours in the future if you ever want me to review your copy.

Or… if you ask my project success team to work on your next project

Do something with today’s tip.

Or share it with others…

Think big. Be different.

Bret Thomson

P.S. I’ve got something cool brewing up for you shortly… and it won’t cost you anything! – Those who grab my Client Rush Book will see first hand what I’m up to. Stay tuned…

Get your regular dose of raw, entertaining and informative insights on marketing and copywriting, straight to your inbox for FREE!

Tags: Bret Thomson, BUY, marketing, WRONG, XYZ
View more posts in Uncategorized