Client Rush Book
October 15th, 2013 |

man embarrassed iStock_000016203165XSmallThtupid Copy Blunder (with an easy fix)

A Copywriting Clanger That’ll Misfire Your Marketing Off Target

I critique a lot of sales copy.

Even from fellow professional copywriters.

I can’t say I like it a whole lot… it’s just part of what I do, running my “Project Success” team.

… And the occasional client who pays me to review their marketing materials…

Here’s a common blunder most people make.

I want you to look at your offer. Particularly, look at the list of what goods/services you are promising in your offer.

Now… look how you’ve worded it.

If you’ve got a bullet point list that reads like…


Here’s a preview of what you get…

–       We will do… XYZ

–       We will give our entire…. blah, blah

–       Our system will automatically… yadda

–       We make sure that… dribble

–       I will send you daily reports on… blaaaah

(End of example)

Look familiar? Okay, lean in closer for this…

If you want better engagement and response… if you want to evoke emotion, believability and excitement, here’s a smarter way to write it…

(Example 2)

Here’s what you can look forward to…

–       You can look forward to us doing… XYZ

–       You will have everything you need when… blah

–       You won’t have to lift a finger because… Yadda

–       You’ll be amazed when you get our … dribble

–       You can relax knowing that our system will automatically…

(End of example)

See the difference?

Replace “We, we, we, or I, I, I, with… “You, You, You”… Get it?

The word YOU is one of the most used words in the world’s most famous converting headlines.

It instantly conjures a feeling of ownership for your reader… Even if it’s just a splinter of a feeling… A small projection that puts your reader into feeling and experiencing it for real.

You see… us humanoids are built to be self-absorbed. So play to it – Any chance you get.

Doing it the WRONG way is a missed opportunity to put your prospect in the picture.

And a missed opportunity to inject emotion into your copy…

Remember, people BUY with emotion.

Any chance you get to add emotion… TAKE IT!

You don’t have to be wordsmith… in fact, if people say to me, “Wow Bret, I love your writing and the words you used; it’s so well written.”

I’ll tear it up and start again.

You don’t want people to remember your words.

You want them to “FEEL” compelled to keep going… So they hardly even realise they are reading…

And to seamlessly motivate them to take action, not applause.

Thought I’d share that little bobby-dazzler with you…

For selfish reason actually… You see it’ll probably save me hours in the future if you ever want me to review your copy.

Or… if you ask my project success team to work on your next project

Do something with today’s tip.

Or share it with others…

Think big. Be different.

Bret Thomson

P.S. I’ve got something cool brewing up for you shortly… and it won’t cost you anything! – Those who grab my Client Rush Book will see first hand what I’m up to. Stay tuned…

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